Their first cybercontact dated back three months, a contact neither of them expected to become very serious at first. Okay, there was the computer match, made by the web site that established their first contact. It was dedicated to what they were both looking for, she being a curious amputee not principally rejecting men who felt attracted to it, he being a man full of hope to get in touch with women who had an amputation. There was also a closer match in that respect. His attraction was strongest for high leg amputations, and her left leg was taken off at the hip. Otherwise though, they couldn’t be more different. While she was a self-assertive woman in her forties, he was a somewhat timid student of over twenty years younger. She’d set up her own small business and was pretty well off, he wasn’t even sure he’d ever make his master’s, with the budget one expects to go with it. And while she had never let her amputated leg be in the way of becoming sexually experienced, his sole reference was his first but now ex-girlfriend.
In spite of many differences, their contact did last. Maybe she was somehow charmed by his juvenile, inexperienced sincerity, as he was by the seemingly light-hearted way she coped with her disability, at least in the emails she wrote. It had soon made their correspondence pleasantly open-hearted. His fascination for her having to miss a leg never encountered reservations, making his curiosity gradually more unabashed. And while it did, her being flattered by it became more and more clear. She lost the leg at an age too young to really remember ever having had two, so his inquisitiveness wasn’t painful. Never having been ashamed of her fate and bearing it with pleasure in life, she didn’t find it embarrassing either. However, she had never encountered anyone before who gave her a feeling of being special for it. Even when not knowing any better had never made her find it a problem, in the eyes of this young man it was nothing less than an asset. And that was new to her.
Two weeks ago, they had decided they should meet. Once the date had been set, it had given way to openly expressed excitement. Now the word was out, they were eager to meet, curious to find out how the unusual click between two rather different people would work out in reality.
She’d invited him over to her house, because it was convenient for her, because she didn’t like the prospect of being received in a messy dorm and because being at home allowed her to welcome him in style. If he thought her missing leg made her extra sexy, there was good reason to let it be shown, after all.
“Are we going to be shy now?” she smiled as he stood in the doorstep, unsure of how to welcome her.
“I hope not…”
“Then show me you’re glad we’re finally meeting up?”
Despite her decided tone, her smile was inviting. His kiss was clumsily hesitant, though. There was a huge difference between emailing and meeting up for real, it seemed. At least for him.
“Come in. And let’s not be nervous,” she smiled. “This was meant to be fun, not?”
“I know. Finally seeing you for real just makes me feel a little awkward,” he shrugged apologetically.
She smiled again. A little shy he might be, his honesty had always charmed her. “Just keep in mind I’m the one you’ve been mailing with so much enthusiasm, okay?” she said as they walked into the living.
“Who’s even sexier than her pictures…” he replied, observing her response with a hesitant look.
“Thank you, charmer. More at ease already?”
“It takes a little time, I guess, but making progress,” he chuckled.
She knew he’d never met an amputee before. Considering the intensity of his feelings, that explained a lot. He’d confessed quite a few to her in his emails, and she found them intriguing, beit not uncritically. She was at peace with being an amputee, yet him erotically liking the leg she had to miss felt on the verge of decency. On the other hand, she felt attractive with him, maybe even desired, and life had never been overly generous to her in that respect. Not that it depressed her, but there sure was a pleasant difference between just being liked and being called sexy, as he just had. And she knew he meant it.
“That’s quite okay. This is as new to me as it is to you,” she said, trying to relax him a little. “And I made tea, would you like some?”
She could sense him watching her as she put her crutches aside. Wearing altered, tight jeans made the curve of her legless left hip show prominently, but it was meant to. What had brought them together should not remain hidden at this first real encounter. However, this meeting up was also to show him there was nothing abnormal about her.
She was an amputee, but that didn’t stop her from living a full life. Frankly, she didn’t really give it that much thought. Having to miss a leg obviously faced her with restrictions, she had a never lived a life without them, and it just wouldn’t cross her mind to look at anything from a two-legged perspective. Having one leg was simply her normal frame of reference. Furthermore, there were ways to get around restrictions and many were simply routine. And whenever they were not, she liked to look at life in terms of challenges rather than limitations.
His emails often gave her the impression he seemed to think it was ruling her life though, and if they were ever to become real friends he should know it really wasn’t. And more in general, if being friends was ever going to happen, she needed to feel comfortable with his fascination. She didn’t mind him having these feelings, found them intriguing even, but she would never allow them to be the principal reason for a friendship.
Simultaneously, there was genuine curiosity for how this fascination of his was going to make her feel. His emails had already given her a pretty clear idea, but that was his side to it, and it was a written representation. For her though, it was something she’d need to actually experience to know what it’d do to her.
“And you? You don’t feel awkward?” he asked while she poured the tea.
“A bit, yes,” she smiled. “Your looking at me is not exactly average.”
“I shouldn’t then?”
“No, don’t hold back. I shouldn’t be meeting you if I’d mind, not?”
“True. And still, don’t you think?” he replied, smiling a little insecurely.
“We’re not going to deny. We’ve never done that in emailing and we’re not going to now, okay?”
“So same agreement then?”
“Same agreement,” she replied, giving him a subtle wink.
“Then I’ll say you look stunning in those jeans.”
“Thanks. So this is different to you than seeing me on pics?”
“It is yes, because I’m seeing you move now. I love to see you walk with crutches, especially how you’re dressed. It shows exactly how your leg is amputated, how high, the shape.”
“Nice to hear,” she smiled. “More?”
“Um… how shall I say,” he replied pensively. “I’m also actually experiencing the person now. That makes it a lot more concrete.”
It made her laugh. “Yes, stumps tend to have someone attached to it.”
“I wasn’t implying I ever looked at you in terms of only your stump…”
“You’d not be sitting here if I had that impression, so don’t worry. Tell me what you find different then?”
“A hell of a lot,” he chuckled. “I really love to see you cope so well, with so much… self-evidence.”
“Not surprising, I’d say? I’ve had this nearly all my life.”
“I know, but it fascinates me.”
“In what way?”
“How your mind works, maybe? I often wonder about that, and it came back when I saw you walk. You didn’t seem to give it a thought at all.”
“I’d be flat on my face very often if I needed to give it thought,” she smiled, charmed by the detail of his interest. “Best way to describe my mind is my missing leg being out of my system. All my reflexes act accordingly.”
“So for your mind, the leg simply isn’t there anymore?”
“It’s a two-level thing. My emotional mind is very aware of my leg missing. At the same time, I function without ever thinking of it. Makes sense?”
“Somewhat, yes. You probably think I’m asking silly questions but this fascinates the heck out of me,” he grinned.
“The agreement was no question is ever silly, right?”
“Yeah, I know. It’s a tad different when sitting here and talk about it for real, though.”
“Not for me it isn’t,” she smiled meaningfully. “But I get what you mean.”
That looked like a decent start, she thought. Knowing he could be a tad timid, she’d worried a little about how to break the ice. Simply being herself seemed to work though. In their emailing, he often let her take initiative to broach a subject, and she never minded because she was used to in her business. She was a translator and interpreter – employing five people doing the same and two secretaries – and most of her contacts with clients went over phone and email. Whenever they didn’t though, she often experienced people suddenly acting differently, sometimes even seeming to trust the quality of her work less than before they’d come to know she had only one leg. It was subtle, implicit, indirect, like many of these things were, and of course they would always be denied, so objecting directly was not an option with people she depended on financially. What was an option though, was to forestall it by having every defense at hand and deploying it first strike, and within a world not entirely free of self-conceited businessmen, she had become quite good at it.
So in that respect, breaking the ice with a timid student was doable.
“I’m glad you do. This is all very exciting for me. Not in a sexual way but as in finally seeing something become real I’ve always been hoping to experience,” he confessed, somewhat shyly.
“It’s an experience for me too,” she smiled. “And I like it so far.”
There was a hesitant look in response. He was obviously pondering. But he came out with it, beit reluctantly. “Liking it enough to feel comfortable to show me…?”
She smiled, more confident than he was obviously feeling now. “I knew that question would come, so I’ve thought about it before you arrived. And I’m willing to show you, provided you’re not taking it as giving cause.”
“I won’t, but I will find it exciting…”
“I know you will, that’s why I want to draw a clear line,” she replied. “And no guarantees as to how I’ll react to this myself. I’ve never shown it to anyone who found it arousing, so I’ll stop whenever I’m not comfortable, okay?”
“Of course. And thanks in advance. You have no idea what this means to me…”
“Oh, I think I have meanwhile,” she smiled, lifting an eyebrow. “Be back in a few, okay?”
Showing someone your amputation was intimate. Showing someone your hip disarticulation was even more. Her amputation being so close to the sexual regions made showing it laden, that’s why she wanted the clear line. It had also left her pondering what to wear, but the black, stretch body suit she decided for made her feel comfortable. It was a simple, long sleeve and turtleneck cut, serving the purpose without giving impressions she wanted to avoid. At least for now. However, the body also hid nothing of her amputation. And even when it was meant to, this time she was the one feeling a little awkward. Walking back into the living dressed like this felt like parading. There was also the other feeling though, and it was manifest the moment she saw him watch. The eyes now observing her very much differed from the pitiful stares she was accustomed to. She saw them become big, express excited curiosity. And most of all, they were telling they liked what they saw.
“Wow, wow,” he mumbled as she approached.
She walked with an extra bit of grace, smiling charmedly and moving to stand in front of him. There was no hiding, not literally and not in what this stood for. Intensely aware of showing him what he so much longed to see, she let her legless left hip be admired. They had taken her leg off radically, leaving no thigh bone, no muscle tissue, no stump, nothing at all. She could think to move the leg, but except for a vague twichting underneath the skin, it resulted in nothing visibly happening. And while demonstrating that, she could see it was very obviously fascinating him.
“So, this is how it looks,” she whispered.
“And it looks absolutely enchanting,” he replied.
“Glad you like.”
“And the idea of your leg being totally amputated is mesmerizing.”
“It’s a bit more than just an idea…”
“Yeah, I know, sorry. I meant it as my realising it is.”
“Is that special to you then?”
“Hell yes. I can’t really describe it but the combined idea of your leg being totally gone and your mind finding that completely normal is a huge thrill,” he quite freely confessed.
“You’re allowed to touch if you like, decently,” she smiled.
There was no hesitation, nor timidity. His touching was careful but decided and without inhibition. His fingertips felt as tender as they felt intensely exploratory, fumbling every physical detail of her leg taken off. His eyes following the touches had an expression she could only take as totallly fascinated. And even when she normally enjoyed being touched there, the ladenness of this particular touching was quite different, and frankly also quite overwhelming.
He’d often told he never wished her to have this, and she did believe him. But those were words and this was actual touching, and the sheer intensity of it was as sincere at his side as it near cut her breath off at hers. She’d never before felt this to be so confronting as it was now. These fingers were excited she was missing her leg. Their every stroking was a pleasing themselves with the fleshly details of amputation. It was an erotic caress of what she was missing, and despite all his words and her truly believing them, this very much felt as a blatant desire for her leg to be off.
It felt good to see him notice what it was doing to her and withdraw his hand. It was also unexpected maybe, considering the intensity of his fascination. He had always been honest and sincere though, and this somehow fitted that picture. Despite being mesmerized, he was not consumed by his own feelings only. He was showing he could care for what this meant to her, which felt reassuring, reassuring enough to not change back and sit down the way she was dressed now. Which she had not initially planned to do.
“Thanks for that,” he smiled shyly. “And could you excuse me for a moment?”
“Sure. Nothing wrong I hope?”
“Depends on how you look at it,” he replied, grinning rather uncomfortably as he stood up.
It was then that she saw. So it was that powerful, his fascination, she thought. With a mix of amazement and an excitement within herself she could quite interpet yet. He had actually had a spontaneous orgasm, merely from touching her amputation.
And that was very new to her too.