“How does it feel?” That’s always question number one when someone hears I’m getting a prosthetic again after 9 years, to which I reply: “It’s like riding a bike?…sort of.” lol
To say I was able to get up and walk effortlessly is far from the truth but my muscle memory has been far stronger than I expected and I’ve really surprised my prosthetist with my progress (watch here).
It’s funny to try and learn to walk again. When you are able bodied you don’t focus on your muscle control when you walk or your gate or whether or not you are leaning to one side but all these factors and several others (mentally and emotionally) are all very integral and apparent when you are a prosthetics user. The mental and emotional struggle is more tiring than the physical by miles. The 12 years of my life history since my amputation always floods into my head each time I go to the office for an appointment. The memories of how bad my first prosthetic experience was and how I am skeptical that this will be just the same as before…but so far it hasn’t and that is the part my mind can’t comprehend. I don’t think I can at this point sum up how this all truly feels emotionally or how it mentally is affecting me but what I do know is regardless of how I feel, it’s all worth it. Any doubt I had in my mind about this experience left me when I went home for the first time last week and showed both my parents. The happiness in their faces is worth all the sweat and phantom pains.
I’m reshaping my body and mind for this and it’s been a long time coming but I’m far from the finalization of my leg. I have many months to go but my progress is progressing faster than expected. I’m working on the muscle atrophy in my stump still. My stump doesn’t lay parallel to my left leg from so much wheelchair use. I’m rebuilding muscle in my body to keep me back and legs strong and to get my stump at the same angle as my left. Once the atrophy in my stump goes away, my prosthetic’s bucket will be replaced with a black carbon fiber bucket and my prosthetist is going to give me a design on it so it’s like i’ll have a tattoo. Cherry Blossom tree soon to come!🙂
I have named my leg Otto Bock Schnitzelpusskrankengescheitmeyer (Otto for short). He’s named after my Mom’s favorite Animaniacs character (watch the video here). She’s been my number one supporter and biggest fan and it only felt right to pay that respect to her by naming my leg after something only her and I share❤
Stay tuned for more progress. I can’t wait for us all to see what’s next🙂